Hot vax summer is alive and well at Seacrets, the mega-club, island-themed bar and restaurant in Ocean City.
Scientifically speaking, you haven’t emerged from living through a pandemic until a pair of boobs topped with glittery pasties have flashed mere inches from your face. Seriously, ask the CDC.A couple months ago, I read that Seacrets, the behemoth, island-themed bar and restaurant in Ocean City—supposedly the largest bar on Maryland’s coast—had planned a mask-burning party to celebrate the end of pandemic restrictions. The bash got canceled.
Ocean City has about 7,000 year-rounders but sees some 8 million visitors a year. Of all the Delmarva beach towns, it may be the most spectacular study in contrasts. Families come to play on its gaping-wide beaches while barely legal kids who visit to get hammered are escorted out of beachside bars before 5 o’clock. On the three-mile boardwalk, you can choose between a belly-button piercing or buying a hermit crab .
Scientifically speaking, you haven’t emerged from living through a pandemic until a pair of boobs topped with glittery pasties have flashed mere inches from your face. The upside and downside of Seacrets is that it’s an easy escape—island time is only a few hours’ drive away, but you’re also not actually on a tropical island; you’re in Maryland, and the vibe is kind of like going to Epcot’s international area . Seaweed and general underwater gunk cling to the stools and booths in the water, and a briny funk perfumes the air.
At this point, I’ve had one very strong grapefruit crush, which means Purple Wig is now my BFF, so we wade to a table of Eastern Shore guys on a bachelor party. They’re sitting around smoking cigarettes, and one of them buys us a round of frozen orange crushes. He shows me a picture of his dog, and I listen to myself squeal, “Oh, my Godddd, I freaking loooooove mini bernedoodles!” and realize, yes, I’m borderline drunk.
“Covid restrictions are lifted!” calls out the lead singer, who, for reasons unknown, has both a goatee and a cowboy hat. “No more restrictions!” He then sits down and begins to play the bongos to a cover of “Sweet Emotion.” Wendy stares out at the dance floor, her dramatic winged eyeliner slightly smudged: “Man, now all these guys have long hair because of Covid.” She lets out an exhale. “I love long hair.
Terrible things have happened at Seacrets. In 2008, a woman was raped in the parking lot after getting ejected for being drunk. She filed a $1-million civil lawsuit against the establishment, alleging that its security team left her vulnerable to attack by refusing to let her reenter the bar so she could grab her purse and friends. The perp went to prison; the club was found not liable in the civil suit.
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