“They taught me that my life didn’t need to be limited to the peaks and valleys of coupledom and singlehood — a fierce love could find me at any time”
Photo: Leonora Hamill/Getty Images The whole thing went down in a way that was so awful and banal, it could only have happened in New York on a Monday. When I woke up, I was part of a couple, as I had been for years; by the time I went to bed, I was not. Not that I actually made it to bed. I never got past the couch, where I spent the night weeping and drinking vodka out of a mug and quietly reciting lines from “Landslide” to myself, while he went to sleep at his best friend’s place.
A year later, one of my friends B went through a pretty bad breakup herself. Our friend K took control of the situation, announcing in her tough little bark, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go to the Century 21 in Bay Ridge, we’re gonna buy you new sheets, and then we’re all going to the firemen’s bar.” K had had a long-term relationship end recently, too, so we trusted she had a handle on the protocol.
We emailed each other every day, filling long Gmail chains even though we saw each other most weekends. We went grocery shopping together and met each other’s families when they came through the city. We referred to each other as “my loves” and reveled in the depth of quotidian details we knew about one another. You got the chickpeas on your salad today? That surprises me because I don’t see you as a legume person.
One night, S and I were out, just the two of us. S was the club member least like me: chic, put-together, like she was born on a polo field. I’m not sure we would have found each other if it hadn’t been for the post-breakup friend setup. We were a few Manhattans deep that night when, who knows — some combo of alcohol and loneliness and fear just cannonballed me, and I burst into profligate, snotty tears.
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