'Was it really worth jeopardizing my well-being just to have a genetic link to my non-guaranteed future child? I decided that I would try,' the author writes.
The author and his wife, Lauren, on their wedding day, July 31, 2021, at Hotel Del Coronado, California.We sat in the kitchen one afternoon painstakingly reviewing our options. I didn’t regret my decision not to freeze my eggs, but I wished this picture looked different. It was just as hard as I had imagined it would be all those years ago.
Without testosterone, my fat would surely redistribute back to my hips, and the associated dysphoria would trail shortly behind it. The testosterone didn’t make me a man ― I know that I am and always will be a man, even without hormones ― but without it, how my body looked and felt, and how I felt about it and in it would change.
Two weeks shy of the doctor’s estimation, my testosterone levels had fallen shockingly into the range of a typical cisgender woman. Distant feelings of dysphoria had started to resurface, but the daunting task of actually starting the “reciprocal IVF” cycle consumed any emotional capacity I had available.
A feeling of joy took over my tired body. We had gone from “scrambled” to “10.” Tears of relief streamed down our cheeks.Courtesy of James Bennett
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