Dear How to Do It: I can’t unsee this.
I saw my girlfriend of six months being orally pleasured by her neutered male dog. She doesn’t know I saw her. I don’t know what to make of this. We both come from fairly conservative backgrounds and have limited sexual experience. I can’t imagine discussing this with her. But I can’t get the image out of my head. I really like this woman, and one side of me wants to say it’s no big deal, just another way to masturbate.
While I too find these to be very exciting and hot acts, and realize I too had fantasized about such things before I even knew what swinging is, I have to admit I’m a hypocrite in this matter. It’s all good to me when I am having fun, but I get severe pangs of jealousy if he so much as flirts with another girl. I don’t feel turned on when he gets involved with someone else; instead, I feel ignored and unworthy in some way. Also, none of my partners before have been like this.
Though similar, you and your husband’s interest in nonmonogamy is a mismatch, albeit a near miss. I believe things have to flow both ways for open or poly relationships to work—every party must be at peace with not just having sex outside the relationship, but with their partner doing so as well. To move forward unaligned is to sign up for strife. For some, jealousy is manageable through regular conversations and reassurance; others never get to that point.
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