'I canceled countless dates, I regret the reason why'

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'I canceled countless dates, I regret the reason why'
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Emilie Lavinia tells Newsweek how she spent her twenties struggling to date in this original essay.

When I was growing up, my relationship with my body was not resoundingly positive. I believe I was part of a generation of women who were constantly being fed quite a toxic rhetoric about how being skinny was the ultimate goal.

I have always been really petite and slim, but feel I was tricked into this dysmorphic way of thinking. I often believed I was larger than I was. I thought I needed a defined clavicle bone or a flatter tummy, that my bum or breasts should look different. There was always something new to focus on. At university, I believe there's a much bigger scope for being social and meeting people, so while that meant there was excitement and adrenaline, there were also a lot more people to compare myself to.

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