These evidence-based strategies can motivate behavior in your child.
toward immediate reward and a detriment to taking into account long-term consequences, very similar to what we see normatively in adolescents and emerging adults. So the good news for parents is that there is an entire field that has already had to find a way to deal with the very challenges you are navigating.
The developers of MI say that if they’d called it anything else they would have called it Motivational Conversations . Motivational Interviewing works better for the clinical context in which it usually is used, researched, and discussed. But I think MC is a better way of framing it in the context of a communication strategy for parents.
The unfortunate reality is that many conversations in which one person is trying to help another change are dysfunctional, even if they are well-meaning. This can be true in the clinical world, and it’s certainly true in theMI is a skill—it’s about how to shape conversations such that the other person talks him or herself into change. Rather than trying to convince someone with the facts , MI is a collaborative process.
To get a better idea of why MI works, I want you to imagine something you want to change in your life. Now imagine that a friend tells you all the reasons you should do it, why any other decision is a bad idea, and then walks you through all the steps you need to follow to achieve the desired change.The very idea of it is annoying and angering. It certainly doesn’t make me more likely to want to do it, and at worst, it might make me less likely to want to do it.
Now imagine that instead of that person telling you what you should do, all the reasons you should do it and how to do it, imagine they instead ask you a series of questions:They reflect on the reasons for wanting to make a change and how to go about it, then a final question: “So what do you think you’re going to do?”who feels empowered, supported, and heard than one who is angry and defensive? Better yet, it’s the same child—it’s just the nature of the interaction that can produce “different...
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