.RexHuppke says 'most Americans want masks on planes' and suggests ways to avoid those without masks in a column for usatodayopinion
So people are going to make their own decisions, and I respect that. But I have come up with a few tips for those of us who favor masks. Using any of these techniques will likely create a safe “social-distancing zone” around you and encourage mask-free travelers to keep away.You’re welcome, America.
1) If an unmasked traveler is about to take the seat next to you, greet your new seatmate like this: “Hi, my name is Rex Huppke. I see we’ll be seated next to each other on today’s flight and you’ve decided not to wear a face mask. I’m looking forward to spending the next two hours talking to you loudly about my testicle-tanning regimen! I heard about it from Tucker Carlson, and I have to say, my testosterone levels have never been higher.
2) If the first item doesn’t work for you because you have scruples or don’t have testicles, tanned or otherwise, try a different but equally effective greeting: “Hey, great to see you.
4) If you spot a string of unmasked people walking down the aisle toward your row of seats, immediately remove your shoes and socks and take out a foot file. As they get closer, commence Operation Pedicure.6) Politely ask any unmasked people near you if they would mind wearing a face mask, at least until the flight is airborne and the filtration system is running at full speed.
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