That thing your son said? Didn’t happen. That person you met at the supermarket? Didn’t happen. That amazing conversation you had with your Uber driver? Didn’t happen, didn’t happen, didn’t happen, didn’t happen.
I told my son that I was working on an article about The Didn’t Happen of the Year Awards. I said, “You wouldn’t believe the lies people tell on the internet, son.”
He bought the account for less than £500 at the start of the year and quickly set about adjusting its output: increasing the amount of posts made, tweaking the kind of tweets that were picked up on. “I think it’s become more mainstream since I’ve had it,” Harry says. “There’s a certain genre of content that appeals to people more than others and that tends to be the political, and the child sort of thing [the trend of adults]. Before myself, it was less engaged with the followers.
“There’s literally zero truth in that,” he says. “My personal opinion on equality is that equality isn’t about equal results, it’s about equal opportunities. So, my point is that I don’t look at whether someone is male or female before posting. Now, the best 32 at the end of the year go through to the awards. If all 32 of those are females, I couldn’t care less. I will put 32 females through to the awards. That to me is equality.
“I said to my bird sort yourself out and I’ll get up some other way,” Tom says. “So I rung my pal and basically said can I use the helicopter. He was having a big dinner party at some house in Surrey or something, some posh party. So I just went there, jumped on the helicopter and got to Liverpool before my bird did.”
When we speak, Tom is clearly still affected by the incident. Although he’s since deleted Twitter from his phone ”, he describes how he’d asked the account’s owner, Harry, whether he could show his version of the story, but Harry refused. “I said to him, look, I’ve got people here saying the worst stuff imaginable, because of you,” Tom says. “But he knew that it was growing, he knew that it was gaining attention.
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