There are significant downsides to trying to make other people happy at your own expense. Here's why.
People pleasing is putting other people’s needs above your own and often relies on assuming what others want.
I was visiting family in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and my uncle laid out a feast to welcome me. I stared slack-jawed at the food, ready to devour everything. As delicious as the meal was, I hadn’t had a lot of northern Thai dishes before, and my tongue was not ready for the barrage of flavors and spices. My uncle asked me how I liked the sai oua.
People pleasing relies on your theory of mind skills, which can be flawed. Your theory of mind skills develop differently depending on where you grew up, how you were raised, and various other factors., culture, age, or country, your chances of knowing their thoughts are even lower. For example, when I cook, I judge each dish based on how well I executed the recipe. So I assumed my uncle wanted me to tell him that each dish tastes good as a way to praise his cooking. I was wrong.
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