'It’s the element of migration and the severed intergenerational connections it creates that modify the family dynamics in Billi’s story, my story and those of millions of others whose relatives are scattered far from their common source.'
Months before my paternal grandmother, Mamá Cruz, died in Mexico City, she embarked on a seemingly unnecessary but emotionally gratifying new enterprise. Ignoring poor eyesight and multiple body aches that contrasted with her lucid mind, she started knitting several scarves for me, her son’s firstborn who had been sent to the United States alone as a kid in pursuit of a chance to transcend economic adversity.
The author Carlos Aguilar, 4 years old, with Cruz Ortiz, or Mamá Cruz, in 1993. Cruz Ortiz passed away in 2018. For immigrants or their children, born or raised abroad, the family back in the country where their heritage is grounded remains distant even when close to the heart. Between those who stayed and those who left, there have been too many missed weddings, births, milestones and, inevitably, funerals.
Both of my grandmothers died without me being able to attend their funerals. Thirteen years before Mamá Cruz died, Mamá Jose, my mother’s mom, to whom I was even closer as a child, left the world of the living prematurely. To lose someone with no final farewell is a common misfortune for immigrants whose loved ones didn’t join them. Separation, tragically, sets in as part of our accepted reality.
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