Melanie Hamlett tells how relocating from the U.S. to France and the sexcapades that followed helped turn her into a boss in and out of the bedroom.
Growing up in Nashville, the puritanical buckle of America’s Bible Belt, sex was never something I approached with anything but shame or judgment, certainly not positivity. Like too many women, I was a people-pleaser; too shy to even say the word orgasm, let alone demand one from dudes who should be giving me one I had driven all the way out to a fancy Hollywood hotel to sleep with a hot Dutch D.J. who was in town for the night.
But when I turned 36 I fell into my first kinda-sorta relationship with a full-fledged hobosexual—who came complete with a banjo and hammock in tow. I fooled myself into thinking I was in love with this loser but what I actually loved was his talent for eating pussy, which effectively clit-matized me. Being touch-starved from a combined 12 years of celibacy, I got drunk on all that oxytocin and was enamored with this unicorn of a man centeringpleasure for once.
I used to think men were forgetful or just plain dumb because they’re so good at playing the bumbling fool, but I’ve finally come to my senses—they’re manipulative as hell and just feign stupidity. That’s how they get whatever it is they want. I’ve got no problem lying to men who lie to me first. Any man who won’t take responsibility for his swimmers gets the FULL femme fatale treatment.
This may sound brutal, but French men, more or less, could handle my ever-growing list of rules and demands. Unlike in the U.S., here I finally felt safe to hurt a man’s feelings without the usual kid gloves I had to wear back home out of fear of being shot. And in France, it’s technically illegal to send unsolicited dick pics, so instead I got photos of well-manicured hands or men holding teddy bears or grasshoppers—creative and funny photos that would grab your attention and make you smile.
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