Turns out scrubbing tubs is a good way to process grief.
The Tody app was simple enough. You create a “plan” for your home by creating a list of recurring chores that are grouped by room. For each chore, you can set a particular frequency based on how lazy or proactive you want to be. For example, I can set a “Clean under the bed” chore once every two weeks. Then every two weeks, you’ll see a lil notification saying you should clean under the bed.
I spent a few minutes setting up a cleaning regimen in the app. That was about all I did that day. The thought of tackling my Tody list was so overwhelming that I marked everything as clean and figured I’d tackle everything gradually.The next day, the Tody app had an annoying red circle with a five inside it. None of them were big tasks. It was all small stuff like wiping down the kitchen counter, vacuuming a single room, or changing out the towels in the bathroom.
It sounds obvious when you write it down, but it took me a whole two months to realize that I’d unintentionally turned chores that drained me into a form of energizing self-care. That I now had a clean house that I put little to no effort to maintain. Paired with, I went from a depressed lump burritoed in a blanket to a less depressed lump capable of showing up to work. Eventually, after about a year, I had a day where I felt normal.
Nothing about Tody is revolutionary. I’m sure you could recreate all this in any free notes, reminders, or to-do app thatcharge you $6.99. In hindsight, the main thing Tody did for me was make it easy to start and then keep going. I don’t know if I’d cough that up right now, but I don’t regret that I did back then.
It’s not like my home is perfect. I occasionally fall behind because life loves its sour lemons. I have moments when my mom’s loss punches me in the face, as if to remind me that there’s no “getting over it.” But my apartment no longer resembles a disaster zone. My griefbecome much more manageable. I’ve no idea how much cleaning my space helped with that, but just in case, I don’t have any intention of deleting Tody anytime soon.
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