Help! An Old Friend Came for a Chaotic Visit That’s Left Our Friendship in Ruins.

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Help! An Old Friend Came for a Chaotic Visit That’s Left Our Friendship in Ruins.
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DearPrudie: She treated me like a free hotel.

I recently had a situation with a long-time friend that has taken a turn, and I’m wondering if I acted in the wrong. Five years ago I moved halfway across the country but have kept in touch with friends back home including “Amy.” In that time she went through a nasty divorce and got custody of her four kids, and I had a baby.

She recently messaged me saying they were looking to travel across the country and wanted to stop by and visit us for a few nights to which I said “Absolutely!” I even said if she wanted to spend an extra night on their way home, they could, and she said she’d think about it and let me know her plan. Well, she never did. The week before they left, I had to reach out and ask if they were coming. She said yes and gave vague details.

We got through the visit, and I asked her again what her plans were for their trip home and if they wanted to stay for a night, and she said “We’ll see.” They left at 5 AM and woke up my toddler in the process, didn’t clean up, and generally left my house in chaos. Then, we got an invite to go out of town overnight when I would have expected them on their way back. I asked Amy yet again and got an “I’m not sure,” so I told her we had a change of plans and couldn’t accommodate them so hoped they had a great trip. After this she responded the next day saying they wanted to stay with us again, and I had to awkwardly tell her it wasn’t an option anymore, which didn’t go well.

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