'Like many people with ADHD, Jeff had wildly unrealistic expectations for himself – of what he should be able to get done. He was always overcommitted, always ready to add something to his to-do list without taking anything away.'
Confessions of an ADHD adult who was diagnosed at 37 and, thanks to ADD medication, finally learned what it meant to empathize, to feel, to reclaim his life.
Medication made a huge difference. After 37 years, my brain was finally working the way it was supposed to. It was like coming out of a fog. I could concentrate. I could listen to what people were saying and absorb new facts and ideas. I also became a little better at facing challenges. But I knew that taking pills wasn’t enough. I had to learn some basic life skills, like controlling my reactions and staying organized, especially when things went wrong.
In college, I majored in business marketing, but I left before graduating. Out in the world, I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do. I gravitated to sales, which turned out to be a good fit for me. You’re not pinned to your desk, and you keep yourself busy with lots of different things, like traveling and giving presentations.Working in sales allowed me to use my creative side. I started earning good money at an early age. Unfortunately, I was impatient, and I had a short fuse.
Now, when something bothers me, I might say, “I need to think about this,” or leave my desk for 10 minutes. I’ve learned to wait instead of firing back an answer to every e-mail that makes me sore. Pete and I worked on developing my ability to listen. I’d look at my planner and pick out four meetings that were coming up. For each one, I’d plan to practice a few specific things that would improve my listening skills: Don’t talk until the other person has completed his sentence. Recap with them, to make sure you understood what they said. I wrote reminders to do these things at the top of my notepad.
Getting into shape has given me more energy and increased my ability to concentrate. Now I find that if I skip exercise for a day or two, I start to feel agitated. I know that I have to hit the gym.
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