In a new book of essays, Zach Zimmerman undergoes a Drag Race–inspired queer baptism.
If Southern Baptists have any maxim they like to pretend to live by, it’s “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” Some use it as a semantic excuse for prejudice; many don’t even bother to fake it anymore.
Therapy was a Hell’s Kitchen gay bar where I once went home with a man who controlled his apartment lighting with his watch. I learned this fun fact when he woke me up at 3 a.m. to kick me out. Therapy is also where I arrived on a cold Thursday night to make good on my claim to the Very Cute Boy. I quickly learned there’d be no talking during the feature presentation. Chitchat was self-policed by a hundred people trying to hear the show projected onto a small screen. During commercial breaks, the TV audio feed, much to the dismay of advertisers across America, was replaced with a local drag queen’s commentary. I couldn’t keep up with her references.Love, Simon
. I oversympathized with the villain, who was a high school mascot like I had been. I also made a point of mentioning that I’d seen an episode of Mama Ru’s program.It turns out that only brushing your teeth the night before a dentist visit is not an effective oral hygiene regimen., quickly became a fan favorite. The smooth southern talker and trained dancer had a penchant for non sequiturs and a signature “tongue pop.
I walked through the kitchen, feeling at home with the servers, before knocking on the closed dressing room door. A beautiful southern belle greeted me.“Oh, hi, Zach.” Alyssa was mid–costume change. We stood in awkward silence., and now it’s time to see Alyssa.”
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