Disappointing Box Office Numbers For ‘Bros’ Force Biden To Ban Gay Marriage

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Disappointing Box Office Numbers For ‘Bros’ Force Biden To Ban Gay Marriage
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WASHINGTON—In response to the disappointing box office numbers for the LGBTQ rom-com Bros, President Joe Biden was left with no choice Thursday but to ban gay marriage, White House officials confirmed. “This feature film written by and starring Billy Eichner experienced a dismal opening weekend, and so I have been…

, President Joe Biden was left with no choice Thursday but to ban gay marriage, White House officials confirmed.

“This feature film written by and starring Billy Eichner experienced a dismal opening weekend, and so I have been compelled to take the difficult action of ending all marital unions between same-sex partners throughout the United States,” Biden said as he signed an executive order nullifying all existing gay marriages and prohibiting all future ones, explaining that his hands were tied in light of the fact thatwould struggle to generate a profit given its disastrously low ticket sales.

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