To my father, I am only worthwhile while he can get something out of me.
I need some help dealing with my father-in-law, “Bernie.” He recently texted my wife with some unsolicited advice. He stated, in no uncertain terms, that he thinks our daughter “Alice” is overweight and my wife needs to monitor her diet more strictly. He also pointedly brought up my wife’s lifelong struggle with weight management and made some rather unfair comparisons to me .percentile for weight, which makes her BMI higher than average.
For now, however, I think you should take him at his word that he will not engage with you again on this subject and resume regular interactions in the new year. You will not get a real apology, and you will not be able to convince him he’s wrong, so don’t waste that emotional energy.
Later my sister confronted me: She thought I would tell a story about having an abortion in college, not during my early marriage. She grew angry with me! She wanted to know why I didn’t think of her before I “killed” my baby since I knew she was struggling with infertility at the time. It was like watching my sister be replaced with a pod person. I was in shock.
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