We get along ... fine.
My husband and I are empty nesters approaching retirement age, with the last of our children starting college this year. I have a brother who is ten years older and is single and childless, not entirely by choice. He is a genuinely kind person and is a successful professional, but he has a difficult personality. He’s a bit of a recluse and a hoarder and doesn’t have hobbies, so he works long hours and then comes home and watches TV.
However, when my brother was in town for a visit recently, my husband mentioned that we were thinking about downsizing and buying a small lake house to live in when we retire. My brother immediately responded that we should let him know the location, so he could buy a lot next door to us. My husband and I were both caught off guard, so we deflected and then changed the subject. I love my brother and can understand that he doesn’t want to spend his retirement years alone, but to be honest, my husband and I were really looking forward to enjoying this time together after so many years with a house full of kids. My brother doesn’t know anyone else in our area, so I’m worried that the two of us would end up being his default social network.
Is there a kind way to tell him that he needs to come up with a different plan for his retirement? My husband thinks we should just keep our plans a secret until after we move, but that seems cruel. I tried gently suggesting to my brother that he might want to live closer to the city so he has more options for activities, but he didn’t budge.
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