DEAR ANNIE: I recently ended a long-term friendship. I feel it was the right choice to make, and I don’t regret the decision. However, I would like your opinion on whether my handling of the situation was appropriate.
Here’s some background on this now-defunct friendship: “Tammy” and I connected on social media about three years ago. She is a phenomenal professional vocalist; I am a concert pianist, so naturally, we have music in common. We had to maintain a long-distance friendship being that we live in separate parts of the country.
Now, of course, no one is perfect, and I certainly have faults. But in the past six months or so, I realized I had been ignoring negative traits of Tammy’s that festered to the point where I had to finally cut ties with her. As a best friend, I suggested she humble herself and speak positively of others in her line of work so as not to gain a poor reputation among her peers. But my concern for Tammy fell on deaf ears. She started to belittle me in every way possible, which truly hurt. I couldn’t believe that my supposed “best friend” would treat me so badly.
I’m sure I’ve made mistakes throughout our friendship, but I really tried to treat Tammy as more of a sister than just a friend. I can tell you this much is true: I NEVER spoke a bad word about her. So imagine how hurt I felt when she unleashed several insults during our last phone call. I don’t consider someone to be a best friend if they could think so negatively of me. I also found myself apologizing to her for keeping a personal situation private.
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