Dear Abby: Wife is tired of having daily fight with husband: ‘He smokes marijuana, and I hate it’

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Dear Abby: Wife is tired of having daily fight with husband: ‘He smokes marijuana, and I hate it’
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... It has been a constant battle for years. We tried therapy, which helped for a while, but he goes back to smoking behind my back. ...

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for seven years, and I’m tired of having the same fight every day. He smokes marijuana, and I hate it. It has been a constant battle for years. We tried therapy, which helped for a while, but he goes back to smoking behind my back. We tried to reach a compromise that he smoke only after a certain time of day, but it still leads to fights.

I want to have a baby, but I am uncomfortable with drugs being in the house. I feel like I can’t trust him to be alone with a baby when he’s high. I don’t want to leave him, but I can’t take it anymore. Having the same fight every day is exhausting, and it’s had a really negative impact on our marriage. I want him to choose me over this, but if I give him an ultimatum, he’ll hate me.

Three or four years ago, she began sharing casual side hugs when I arrived. I never ask for them. Over the last year, these hugs have become more intimate, not in a sexual way -- just a deeper bond of friendship. We occasionally IM when she’s off work, but I don’t see her socially.

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