Dear Abby: Teen won’t speak to her dad but wants birthday gifts anyway

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Dear Abby: Teen won’t speak to her dad but wants birthday gifts anyway
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Should he buy gifts for a child who has ignored him for the better part of a year?

If your partner’s daughter wants something from Dad for her birthday, she should ask him directly and not telegraph the message through her sister. Your partner should do what he wants to do about her behavior. You and I know how we would handle this, but we are not him and we are not emotionally involved. Stay out of the line of fire.With no warning, my mother-in-law packed up and left my father-in-law. From what she tells me, he was verbally and emotionally abusive, and all-around controlling.

I don’t think I mind that he’s getting remarried, but I do mind that no one has told my husband’s mother. FIL won’t tell her, and my husband won’t either. She has said she “doesn’t want to know anything” that’s going on with my FIL. Not only does she not know, but neither does my husband’s brother. My brother-in-law despises his father.

My husband’s extended family will be attending the wedding. I have immense guilt about going. I feel like I’m betraying my MIL, with whom I have a good relationship. My husband wants me to attend because he needs the support. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t go. I’ve never had a great relationship with my FIL, and he doesn’t appear to have changed, even though he’s with someone new.

When your husband’s mother finds out about the marriage -- and, of course, she will -- remind her that she told you she didn’t want to be kept informed, so you respected her wishes.

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