I would ask your readers to please cut some slack with those who are going through the grieving process.
Unsure How To Feel” was upset about changes her sister-in-law was making after the death of her husband. Within months, the widow had given away the husband’s belongings and begun making changes to their home. I saw myself in that column.
After selecting a few meaningful items, I also began giving his belongings to close family members and then to charities. When my daughter became upset, I realized that we all process our grief in different ways. She wanted to preserve everything the way it was. Neither reaction is wrong. I would ask your readers to PLEASE cut some slack with those who are going through the grieving process. It’s a horrible experience. Each person has to survive it in their own way. Just because it isn’t your way doesn’t make it wrong.Thank you for your wise words. They are so true. Most readers who responded to that letter agreed with you. Read on:To “Unsure,” I say: Your sister-in-law lived with your brother every day of their married lives in the same house she still lives in.
Your sister-in-law is not disregarding your brother and his memory. She will always hold his memory in her heart, as you do. But living in that space likely requires her to make it less of a constant reminder of the love she has lost.I lost my husband seven months ago and began cleaning out his stuff almost immediately. Why would I want to look at his clothes every day? How does “Unsure” know her late brother’s marriage was so “good”? People thought that about mine, but it wasn’t.
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