I'm in trouble because I didn’t know the kids hadn’t been told and started to say something at a family dinner.
My daughter-in-law, “Brooke,” lost her grandfather five weeks ago. She has chosen not to tell her 4- and 10-year-old kids about it. She has ordered my husband, me and our son not to mention it. The kids see her grandmother at least once a week, and SHE is not supposed to tell them either.
I didn’t know the kids hadn’t been told and I started to say something at a family dinner. The 10-year-old heard me, and I got shushed. I’m mad at the whole situation. Brooke refuses to tell them “until she’s ready,” and I couldn’t disagree more. I understand her grief. I have lost grandparents and parents. The services won’t be for several weeks.
Now Brooke is mad and screaming and crying about it. I’m trying to back off, but I’m angry that her needs are being put first and at being told I made a horrible mistake by offering the love and caring I thought they needed. How can I repair the perceived mistake I have made?If you were unaware that your DIL was trying to shield her kids from the reality of their great-grandfather’s death when you spoke out, you did nothing wrong. However, you should have offered an apology to her privately.
When he’s home and we’re living life with jobs, kids, bills and responsibilities, we are disconnected and distant. We interact more as partners and friends than romantic lovers. We’ve been married for 21 years, and it’s always been this way. Does absence truly make the heart grow fonder, or can we stand each other only when we’re not together?Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder, nor does it necessarily drive a wedge between a couple whose marriage has a strong foundation.
Have you considered treating yourselves to an occasional date night, just the two of you, away from the distractions of the children? If you haven’t, I’ll bet you would both enjoy it.
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