Dear Abby advises a woman on a partner she can count on.
: My husband and I were raised within religious communities. Among other conservative values, we were taught that a wife is to be responsible for domestic labor, and a husband is to be the primary breadwinner outside the home . We were still deeply involved in these communities when we married at 21 and 22.
The initial relief and freedom I experienced slowly evolved into feelings of resentment when I started realizing my husband is not equipped, emotionally or intellectually, to provide for the family I hoped for. Luckily, we have agreed that many of our families’ traditional values are simply not serving our needs.
I feel burned out and alone. We have been in marriage counseling for a year; nothing has changed. I am turning 30 this year and starting to despair about the future of our marriage and the possibility of having children. I want a partner I can count on. Am I chasing a fantasy? — DISILLUSIONED IN WASHINGTON: I’m sorry to say this, but I’m afraid you may be. While you have escaped it, your husband is still trapped in the role he was raised to believe was his.
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