I told her I wasn’t paying for her to take home a doggie bag.
You and the Birthday Girl have been seeing each other for an extended period of time. If money is tight, you should have mentioned it long before her birthday rolled around. Yes, she should have been aware of it before you invited her to dinner.
Because she wasn’t, I can understand why she might have been put off by what she may have interpreted as a snide comment rather than a cry for help.DEAR ABBY:I have come to understand that she was “wronged” by other men more than once in the years in between. But I have also learned it was happening during our relationship as teens. I cannot stop ripping myself in half for not realizing it was happening and doing nothing to stop it. I wasn’t damaged; she was.
I am hesitant to do anything that makes her revisit her pain, but it is something I can’t let go of. I am not sure how I should proceed in the present, so that I don’t let the past damage a future that seems so bright.Understand that you and this woman were very different people when you dated more than 20 years ago.
A lot has happened to you both in the intervening years since high school. There was nothing you could do to stop anything that happened. She was a willing participant in those failed relationships. Your future with her will be brighter once you know each other better as adults, which will involve frank communication on both of your parts.
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