Dear Abby advises a woman about remarrying her ex-husband and another woman whose friend doesn’t acknowledge her Jewish faith.
My husband and I were married nine years. He unexpectedly left me when COVID first hit. We were apart for a year and eight months and ended up divorcing. I filed because, even though I didn’t want to believe it, I eventually accepted that it was over. Even though he hadn’t actually filed the papers, he had taken all other necessary steps. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt this level of heartbreak.
After time passed, he reached out and wanted to reconcile. We’ve been back together ever since, and he has asked me to get remarried. I happily agreed because he has been in therapy and made amazing changes. My friends have mixed feelings about our remarrying. They saw how devastated I was when he left and how hard I worked to pick myself up and start over. We didn’t have a wedding our first time, so this time we are planning to have one. The date is set and the venue is booked. I have all these feelings of excitement, but it’s hard to share them because they get dismissed or there’s a snide comment from my friends. They were there for me when we split up, and I understand their hesitation.
Every year, she wishes me a “Merry Christmas,” buys me a Christmas gift and a Christmas card. She’s a truly nice person, and I don’t think she’s deliberately being dismissive or insensitive. I have mentioned this to her several times over the years, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Without insulting her or seeming ungrateful, how can I let her know this bothers me? —If she’s a dear friend, she’s not likely trying to upset you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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