Abby gives advice to a frustrated host who is tired of some family members overstaying their welcome.
: I’m wondering if you can give me a tactful suggestion on how to get lingering family members to go home when I entertain. In times past, cousins stayed into the wee hours playing cards and were generally pretty noisy in my parents’ large home — all of which could go on for days. . Any suggestions about how to let them know it’s time to return to their own homes?: Try this: Stand up and say, “It has been fun getting together, but it’s time to call it a night.
My concern is that this man gives his two children so much money every month that there’s none left over to help with any of our household expenses. He knows he will have to wean them off financially before he retires. I’m loath to ask him to stop, because I don’t want to lose him over this issue. However, I didn’t budget having to support him for the rest of my life.
He hasn’t saved any money for his retirement. When I’ve asked why he sends them all his money, he says that when he and their mom divorced, it upset them and he feels guilty , or when he gets old and senile, they’ll care for him. When I mentioned that when he gets old and senile, I’ll ship him out to his daughter, he said she has her own life and won’t want him there.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
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