DEAR ABBY: My brother dated an alcoholic for years. 'Jenny's' drinking progressively worsened to the point we could no longer have a conversation with her. She was a sloppy, emotional drunk and lied about her drinking to my brother. He finally became unhappy and recently broke off the relationship. His adult children, our dad, my husband and I are supporting him and encouraging him toward more healthy relationships. We are proud of him for making this move.
DEAR ABBY: My mother, who died recently, wasn’t subtle about favoring my younger sister. My sister, “June,” is grief-stricken and talks about our mother positively -- a lot. Our mother was cruel to me at times, and June knows it, but she continues to talk glowingly about her. I want to say to her, “She may have been an angel to YOU, but she was a b---- to me my entire life,” but, of course, I don’t. I would just like to forget all about her.
When June does this, I usually remain silent. I want to be supportive, but at the same time, I think my feelings are important and should be respected. What should I do? -- GRIEVING LESS IN WISCONSIN DEAR GRIEVING LESS: When your sister starts up about what a wonderful mother your abuser was, remind her, as tactfully as you can, that you didn’t benefit from the same treatment. Then express that, while you sympathize with her loss, you no longer wish to discuss your mother with her. If she needs to vent about her sadness and loss, she should do it with other relatives or close friends or join a grief support group as many people do.
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