Dear Abby advises a woman who can’t make friends in France, and weighs in on wedding photo etiquette.
I went to college in France. It was my lifelong dream to move here and start my own life in this beautiful country. I succeeded. I married and had a child, but the marriage didn’t work out. My son, who is now 8, has spent his whole life here. He fits in. He is popular. However, as a single working mother in a foreign land, I do not.
I have mastered the French language. I can have an intellectual conversation in French, and I even make jokes in French. I understand it’s a different culture. I have had many different roles as a bilingual assistant in various sectors, such as real estate, digital transformation, architecture and interior design.
I count myself blessed to always be able to find work, but the women here just don’t like me. I am blond and wear makeup, and my presence seems to threaten and anger them no matter where I go. There are always one or two nice colleagues, but there is also a mass vibe of hostility. I can’t leave because I can’t take my son away from his father. Advice? —Please allow me to offer my sympathy. What you are experiencing is hurtful. But it happens everywhere, not just in Paris.
At some point, your son will be old enough to be on his own, and you may be able to relocate to a part of France where the people are warm and welcoming. Keep your contacts close back home, because you may be able to relocate to the States if you wish. In the meantime, stay occupied. If you do, it will give you less time to be depressed.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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