Dear Abby: I get so anxious when he uses my bathroom. Should I say something?

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Dear Abby: I get so anxious when he uses my bathroom. Should I say something?
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Plus: My co-worker calls in sick a lot, and I want to confront her about it.

She will return the next day with no outward sign of illness and has, on several occasions, returned with a fresh haircut and manicure. When she’s at work, she frequently steps away from her desk for personal calls.Having worked in this office for more than 10 years, I know the work inside and out, so I can do my work — and hers — with ease. I actually like my co-worker, but I feel she’s taking me for granted. Our supervisor had a talk with her, but it didn’t help.

Would it be unreasonable for me to have a frank discussion with her directly? I foresee that it may cause a cool reception, but I’m losing patience.It’s not unreasonable to speak with this co-worker, but what have you to gain by confronting her and what do you have to lose? If it will cause a frostier work environment, don’t do it.. Having to face the consequences of slacking may give her an incentive to change her ways.

I have to be extremely careful of every word I say or I will be the recipient of his sarcasm and/or anger, so I’m anxious and worried every evening until he goes to sleep, which, fortunately, is very early. In the morning he expects me to be happy and cheerful as if nothing went on the night before. I have tried to discuss this with him, but it doesn’t help. After years of this, I have become depressed and would really appreciate your advice.You are married to an alcoholic. Marriage to a verbally abusive alcoholic would make anybody depressed! I can only wonder why you have chosen to tolerate this for so long.

The path toward a solution to your problem would start with locating the nearest Al-Anon meeting and attending some of them. If you do, you will find the support and help you are looking for. You can find a nearby meeting by visiting al-anon.org/info.

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