I married a well-to-do man, and I haven’t had to work, although I’m still careful about what I spend, and I try to find bargains on food, clothing, kids’ items and travel.
My friend is single and she’s always finding ways to cut corners. What she doesn’t realize is that her advice becomes unwanted after a while.
An example: We went grocery shopping and, when I tried to buy a turkey, she went on and on about how much money I could save by catching the sale at the next store. If I mention that my husband and I are going out to dinner, she insists on telling me how much money I could save if I cooked more often at home. It is endless. I have told her in so many words I don’t need advice about money and, while I admire her thriftiness, I do just fine by myself.
DEAR TIRED: The answer to your question may have more to do with what you don’t say than what you do. If you have already told your friend that you are managing well and living within your means, from now on stop telling her all the details of your life that have to do with shopping, travel and entertainment outside of what you do together.
We are on different ends of the political spectrum. Although I never initiate a conversation about the candidate she voted for in the last election, she never misses an opportunity to debase my choice for the same office. It’s distressing, and I nearly cried the last time she made a derogatory remark about him. When she doesn’t bring up politics, we have a wonderful time.
DEAR OPPOSITE: Yes, I do: Quit nodding your head and establish some ground rules with Sissy. TELL HER that you love her company but that the pejorative political comments must stop. Make clear that you want politics off the table when she visits because the subject is so upsetting, and that if she cannot comply, you will be seeing her less often. Period! Standing up for yourself is not being confrontational. You are long overdue for that brief chat.
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