DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I was contacted by a half-sister I'll call 'Shyla,' who my mother placed for adoption at birth. My mother passed away five years ago. She was a horrible mother who physically, verbally and emotionally abused my brother and me. Giving Shyla up was the best thing she ever did. I have spent years in therapy to work through my painful childhood.
DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I was contacted by a half-sister I’ll call “Shyla,” who my mother placed for adoption at birth. My mother passed away five years ago. She was a horrible mother who physically, verbally and emotionally abused my brother and me. Giving Shyla up was the best thing she ever did. I have spent years in therapy to work through my painful childhood.
I do not want a relationship with this sister, or to have to talk about my abuser for the rest of my life. That chapter is closed. Shyla makes me feel horrible because I haven’t met her yet. I don’t WANT to meet her. Other adoptees I have spoken to chide me on this, saying Shyla “has a right” to her birth family. Advice, please. -- FREAKING OUT IN NORTH CAROLINA
Charlie gets upset when I talk about being interested in starting to date. He thinks I am going to abandon him again and that I should pay more attention to reconnecting with my children than trying to develop a new relationship. I don’t see why I can’t have both.
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