Dear Abby: Before kids, marriage was great. Now, not so much

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Dear Abby: Before kids, marriage was great. Now, not so much
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We barely hold hands, we never hug, and kissing is prohibited except maybe a kiss before bed.

We kiss like it’s an obligation. There’s no touching in our relationship. In the bedroom we used to be more physical and less restrained. I wanted her to be satisfied, without getting more specific. Now, if we are intimate, it’s once a month during the summer and maybe twice a month otherwise. She won’t allow me to touch parts of her body, and she’s physically and emotionally remote.

When I addressed this with her, she informed me that other couples are intimate less frequently than we are. She has let her body go, and doesn’t diet or even try to watch her weight, and I’m concerned for her health because she has become obese. If I try to bring these matters up, she flies into a rage. Abby, AM I being selfish?The answer to that question is no. Something has gone radically wrong with your marriage and you have been iced out.

You and your wife need to discuss this in the office of a licensed therapist. If she’s unwilling to do that, have some sessions alone so you can find a way to get through to her or figure out whether you want to continue living in “Siberia” until your children become adults.Our 10-year-old granddaughter has a speech impediment, which is becoming more and more significant. It is clear this is not something she’s going to outgrow. She is homeschooled and doesn’t attend any sort of speech therapy.

I don’t want to offend our daughter, but I also don’t want to see this sweet little girl have a problem that is going to be more difficult to fix as she gets older. Is there a diplomatic way to address this? The last thing I want to do is upset our daughter, but I’m really worried about our granddaughter. Your thoughts?Getting your granddaughter the help she needs to overcome her speech impediment is more important than worrying about upsetting your daughter by pointing out the obvious.

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