It's the same kind of cancer my first wife had. My first reaction was to want to run away because I didn’t want to go through that again.
My first wife died of colon cancer 25 years ago. She was extremely brave and fought hard for two years, but in the end, it was a blessing when her suffering ended. I remarried 20 years ago, and my second wife has now been diagnosed with the same cancer. When the diagnosis came back, I have to admit my first reaction was to want to run away because I didn’t want to go through that again.
I know I can’t run away, but the fear and anxiety are overpowering. I have considered suicide but will do that only if my wife dies. I can’t live with this pain for longer than that. I know I should see a counselor, but right now my wife is the one who needs the attention. My world is in turmoil. I don’t think I can work effectively. I’m lost. I don’t even know what to ask of you, but if you have any suggestions, I would gladly heed them.
Caregiver support groups could be helpful for you if you choose to contact them. You will find them at, the American Cancer Society’s website. Please give it a try and let me know how you are doing. Suicide is not the answer to your problem. Your wife’s life -- and yours -- are precious. She needs you, and that has to be of primary importance. If your suicidal thoughts continue, I urge you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The number to call is 800-273-8255.
When I told him I was going to my uncle’s house last Christmas because I wanted to be around people who wanted me to be there, he agreed it was a good idea. His response crushed my soul. He then expressed that holidays aren’t really that much fun, that he doesn’t enjoy traveling and that we fight during them.
I’m trying to accept that he doesn’t want to spend the holidays with us, and somehow not feel rejected. It’s a struggle to feel loved by him. Any advice?Many people feel stressed at holiday time, particularly when things don’t go as planned. Make plans to get together with your father that do not involve holidays. Because traveling is hard for him, make alternative plans with him so he won’t feel stressed when you visit him.
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