“Alcoholic” is “a hard word to use for someone you love, and so my family avoided it,” David Sedaris writes. “Rather, we’d whisper, among ourselves, that Mom ‘had a problem,’ that she ‘could stand to cut back.’ ”
Yes, well, I wouldn’t, either, I think. If digging the grave didn’t do me in, I’d surely die trying to roll that massive body into it. There’s crying on “Hoarders” as well, though rarely by the pack rat, who sees no downside to saving all his toenail clippings.
When she told us that she would no longer drive at night, that she couldn’t see the road, we all went along with it, knowing the real reason was that by sunset she was in no shape to get behind the wheel. “Gosh,” we said. “We hope that doesn’t happen to our eyes when we’re your age.” “Pour me a cup of coffee,” she’d say, come ten o’clock, our empty plates still in front of us. “Get me another pack of Winstons from the pantry, will you?” One of the perks of having six kids was that you didn’t have to locate anything on your own. “Find my car keys,” she’d command, or, “Someone get me a pair of shoes.”asking. Pleasing our mother was fun and easy and made us feel good.Maybe ours wasn’t the house I’d have chosen had I been in charge of things.
“Do you think it was my fault that she drank?” my father asked not long ago. It’s the assumption of an amateur, someone who stops after his second vodka tonic, and quits taking his pain medication before the prescription runs out. It’s almost laughable, this insistence on a reason. I think my mother was lonely without her children—her fan club. But I think she drank because she was an alcoholic.
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