The toughest father I know lived alone for 3 decades, but can no longer care for himself
NJ Advance Media General Manager Ronnie Agnew, left, and his dad, Charlie Agnew.There are times when I am reminded of what my father used to be. The distance between those times is lengthening and I’m left to wonder if his best days are now. He still remembers me, but he has forgotten many of the contents of my life.
I visited my dad in Mississippi last week and left with tears in my eyes. My father can still walk, albeit unsteadily which brings concerns that he could fall, something I’m not sure he could withstand. My dad can still talk, and the cadence of his voice is like a sweet melody on days when his memory pays a visit. Often, he regales visitors with old gospel songs that he’s been singing most of his 95 years.
I find it painful that he has lost his connection to me, at the same time when he is experiencing a similar loss of connection with his former himself. He was there when I graduated from high school with honors. He was there when my alma mater, the University of Mississippi, inducted me into the Alumni Hall of Fame. He was there when my school’s journalism program awarded me the Silver Em, which recognizes the state’s top journalist. Everything I’ve ever done, he has been there.
He has lived alone for more than 35 years, ever since my mother died far too young of heart disease. Just two months ago, he was riding around on his John Deere lawnmower in search of a patch of grass to cut, an activity he would repeat at least three times a week. In recent years, while in his early 90s, he would plant a large vegetable garden, working in Mississippi’s torturous sun to produce the prettiest peas, okra, corn, and tomatoes I’ve seen.
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