Dear How to Do It: My … friend was wondering, if a straight man receives oral from a trans or gay man, does that make the straight man gay?
If a straight man receives oral from a trans or gay man does that make the straight man gay? Asking for … a friend.I doubt it. In response to your query, I am inclined to wax philosophical about the spectrum of sexuality and the pros and cons of declaring an attendant identity.
In one particular case, which sparked this question, I am not sexually interested in the person, but really enjoy the time we spend together, and being intimate emotionally with him, and being affectionate sometimes. Plus, there’s beauty in the unknown … could we get drunk and end up in bed? Maybe. It might be worth mentioning we had sex once, but it was five years ago. I may have done other things more recently, like sharing nude photos of myself.
It sounds to me that you enjoy attention without obligation. You’re not wrong for that; attention is nice, and you’re never under any obligation to sleep with anyone at any time. But your method of going about things isn’t entirely humane. You’re helping manifest what you told your therapist about all men just wanting to sleep with you. It’s like some intensely proactive riff on: You’re speaking it into the world and wielding your nudes as backup.
The problem is that we work in the same industry, and the big annual Christmas bash is scheduled for right smack in the middle of what my app says will be December’s High Horny Days. It’s an overnight event at a hotel. Usually my friend and I have a blast at these things together, but what do I do this time? It would be a blow to me professionally if I were to miss it, but I just don’t know how to navigate this.
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