Asking Eric: Our daughter’s bartender boyfriend thinks we’re elitist

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Asking Eric: Our daughter’s bartender boyfriend thinks we’re elitist
Asking-Eric@Exmeter@Jpickel
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Are we elitist for wanting our daughter to find a partner who has a decent relationship with his family and some kind of viable career path?

My daughter is dating a young man whose parents, at one point, belonged to some religious group that believed in having lots of children – so they had 12. Sam is right in the middle. As far as I can tell, the kids were expected to more or less raise themselves, and all were homeschooled.

Sam works in a bar with hopes of learning how to be a bartender. His plan for the future is to marry my daughter and make a go of being a carpenter. I find myself not being crazy about the guy. More importantly, Sam loves your daughter; your daughter has chosen Sam. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his family, but do you expect him to be on great terms with people who neglected him? Don’t blame him for where he comes from. See him for what he’s overcome and who he is trying to become.

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