My siblings visit three to four times a year and don’t contribute to her care in a consistent way. They are trying to work out ways for her to stay in her own home.
I am one of four siblings. I live close to but not with my 102-year-old mother while my siblings live far away. Over the past 12 years, I have gradually taken over a lot of her care, although she generally makes her own decisions and is financially secure. She is dependent on me for cooking, shopping, appointments and company.
My siblings are all visiting soon and want to have a discussion about how to keep mom in her own home. I am afraid they will convince her not to move. I need to tell them that unless some or all of them are moving here, she needs to move to assisted living. I love my mom, and I know my siblings do, too. I don’t think they understand just how much help she needs.
Pointing out the gaps in their thinking, without your mom, may help them to understand better without making your mom feel guilty. She sent screenshots of the things I said about our brothers to them. They were, understandably, upset with me, but I’ve made amends with both of them.
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Asking Eric: My mom, 102, wants to move to assisted living; my siblings want her to stay in her houseAll of the options they have suggested involve a lot of work for my mother and me.
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