My husband is very controlling. He would definitely make my life miserable if I accepted this invitation, so I turned it down, since I have to live with him.
But what is more upsetting is that instead of being happy for me for getting an opportunity to do something fun and enriching, he is resentful and obstructionist.
It is ironic that your husband is insisting to go with you, all while he is demonstrating that he is probably the last person you would want to go anywhere with. This episode has revealed your husband’s deep insecurity, expressed in his effort to repress, manipulate and control you.On the way out, he threatened my life and took several thousand dollars from me as “payment” for the emotional turmoil he said I’d caused him, and as an assurance that he would never contact me again.
Now I’m torn whether to tell the mutual friend that I cannot attend group events with this person. I don’t want to give up the friendship, or dictate who someone else may invite to their own home, but I can’t stomach being in the presence of this abuser. Should I say something?DEAR TORN: Yes, you should say something - to the police. Theft/extortion is a very serious crime.
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