Dear Amy: I continue to struggle with a sense of responsibility toward my ailing mother, even though I know that she is poison for me.
I was abandoned by my mother and adopted by another family at 18-months-old.My father declined to meet. I met my birth mother and spent time getting to know her.Advertisement
My friends and family say that I don’t owe her anything, but she’s my mother, she gave birth to me and although she’s never done anything for me it doesn’t seem to matter. If I don’t help her, I feel guilty. If I do help her, I feel worthless and used.AdvertisementI agree with your friends and family that you do not owe your birth mother anything – or much of anything.Do not give into your mother’s manipulations.
No, she cannot live with you. No, you cannot assume care for her in her home. But you may be able to ensure that she has a safe environment to live in. If she has no other family members, you might step up to be the contact person for her care facility.He informed us verbally before he died that the house is split evenly to each of us in thirds.
This important and challenging job can be overwhelming, and has reduced many a grieving person to become paralyzed.
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