Does the person who ‘started it’ never get an apology?
To me, the basic geometry of your interactions seems imbalanced. But apologies, forgiveness and reconciliation are not points on a protractor.
The issue is that she cannot seem to keep a job for longer than a year. She has been terminated from at least six jobs in the last 10 years.I want to discuss this with her without her getting defensive. One therapist told me: “Not my monkey, not my circus,” which helped for a few years — but every time she loses another job my heart sinks.
However, your sister is not asking to be taken care of. She is not asking to be “fixed.” And you not only want to try to fix her, but you’d also like to control her reaction to your efforts.
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