I’d like to see my family, but he has threatened to divorce me.
I sometimes feel trapped because I have to make my case each time for why I want to go anywhere.
Yes, marriage is fueled by compromise, but one partner should not actually be in charge of the other. I suggest that you sit down with him and say: “Over the next 12 months, I plan to be away from home overnight for a total of around 14 [or whatever number] nights. This includes a trip to Greece, and an overnight or two with the kids or my friends. I’d love for you to come with me to Greece, if you can swing it. I understand that this is hard for you.”
Threats of divorce are an extremely manipulative tool to try to control you, made by someone who feels very out of control. These threats actually weaken your relationship. If this is his “go to” nuclear option, then you should call him on it.If I upgrade my phone, she upgrades hers. If I buy a designer purse, she’ll purchase the same brand. If I tell her I’ve had lunch in a nearby town, she’ll ask where and later book a table.It feels like she uses me as a concierge or personal shopper.
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