Dear Amy: How can I handle that they are purposely (and hurtfully, on Mother’s Day) excluding us?
Thank you for supporting our journalism. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Chicago Tribune.My husband and I, recently retired, came out from the West Coast for the baby’s birth and were convinced to move.We upended everything, moved 12 minutes away from our daughter and now watch our grandson four days a week, which is great.
There is a known phenomenon in Western cultures called “matrilineal advantage.” This is where a child’s maternal grandparents tend to spend more time with and be closer to grandchildren than the paternal relatives. A major factor is the tendency of mothers to be the “kinkeepers” of their families. They make the arrangements, remember the birthdays, host the occasion dinners , and – yes – provide childcare. They are the linchpins of the family network.
I agree that you should be included on Mother’s and Father’s Day, and because this has hurt your feelings, you should say so.
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