They’re having a small wedding at home. How do they let guests know they really mean ‘no gifts’?
I am getting married in July at the age of 54. My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years and have no children. This is our first marriage and we just never saw any reason to get married before, but now due to some plans for our future, we know that being married will be easier for us.
We are having my sister be the officiant and we will have a brief exchange of vows with only my parents and two siblings in attendance. Later we will have a party, and everything is taking place in our backyard. One of the nice things about getting married so late in life is the guest list sure is small! And this is perfect for us because we don't want a huge, elaborate reception. We also don't want people to give, or feel obligated to give, anything to us as a wedding gift. Since we've been together for so long, we don't need anything.
If you saw “no gifts, please” on a wedding invitation, would you think it was “fake modesty,” and bring a gift despite the couple’s stated request? I don’t think you would, because your life is not scripted by Larry David. You can use the standard: “No gifts, please: Your presence is the only gift we need,” Or you could ask your guests to participate in a local food or book drive. Wedding guests have become accustomed to charitable gifting requests from their hosts.
The trick here is not to leave this at the gym, but to take all of this energy back home to your partner. I hope you will crush on your husband with enthusiasm.Before I show myself out at the end of June, I’m delighted to make way for your newest advice-giver: R. Eric Thomas, whose “Asking Eric” column will continue to foster the engaging relationship we’ve shared. Eric is young, smart, and a talented advice-giver — formerly of the Dear Prudence column.
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