Ask Amy: How do I tell my standoffish family about a life-changing diagnosis?

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Ask Amy: How do I tell my standoffish family about a life-changing diagnosis?
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Dear Amy: In my teens and early 20s, my mother bluntly told me she didn’t want to discuss the hard parts of my life, and that has set the stage ever since.

I am a 45-year-old woman who was just diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

Should I tell them about my diagnosis and suspicions about them? If so, how? We are a family that never discusses emotions or meaningful experiences, but I am in almost daily text-message contact with both of them .I would be uncomfortable even bringing up my diagnosis because it is virtually taboo to discuss our inner lives within the family.

However, I think that if my family members are on the autism spectrum, the understanding that would come from learning this information could be life-changing for them in important and positive ways. The downside to experiencing an exciting epiphany as an adult is the tendency to press your own experience – and the positive insight that flows from it – onto others with an urgent enthusiasm that can actually deter people from following your lead.

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