Dear Amy: I am a husband and father of an 18-month-old daughter. I’m concerned about how my mother-in-law treats my wife and daughter.
I’m concerned about how my mother-in-law treats my wife and daughter.My wife answers as often as she can.The problem I have is that my mother-in-law keeps saying things to our toddler like: “Don’t worry — whenever grandma is talking to you, you don’t have to listen to your mom.”
The last time I heard this I wanted to grab the phone and say: “Mom makes the rules, if you can’t follow them, you can’t see our daughter” and hang up on her.My MIL is coming to visit in about a week and I’ve been stressing about it constantly. I’m all for grandparents spoiling grandkids, but when my daughter is throwing food on our floor and grandma says, “It’s OK — make your parents clean it up” I want to ground grandma.Keep your cool. The calmer and more consistent you are, the more effective your response will be.
She may say, “Oh, I’m only joking, don’t take this so seriously.” And you can respond, “I get it, but we’re trying to be consistent, and her sense of humor isn’t quite developed yet.”They live together and plan to marry in July. This will be the second marriage for both. They’re in their 50s, and both have grown children.They live in a wonderful city and enjoy a nice lifestyle, playing tennis, traveling, etc. He is a doctor and she, a corporate recruiter.
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