Letter writer enjoys a child-free life – but their girlfriend’s close relationship with her nieces is ruining their weekends.
I have a recurring issue when going out with my girlfriend’s brother. Every time we plan to go out with him and his wife, the outings revolve around their children. As a happily child-free man in his 40s, I have no desire to spend my Saturday watching kids play in a crowded play space. I have suggested activities that are child-friendly, like the bike park or skiing. These are activities I would also enjoy, yet they still aren’t suitable for his youngest child, so my ideas get shut down.
My girlfriend wants me to have a relationship with her family , but these kid-centric hangs are like torture for me. How can I explain that I don’t want to hang out with her young nieces without upsetting the balance?These young parents are very caught up with their children. Since this is basically the definition of being a parent, you should accept that this is their life, their choice, and quite possibly their greatest joy.
If you want to get to know these parents better, you might ask if they can find a sitter some evening so that you adults can socialize together. I wonder if your girlfriend is testing the waters to gauge how happy you really are at being child-free. I suggest that you be completely transparent about this.Over the last four years I have suffered a series of blows . Even before this, I struggled with depression and executive dysfunction.
Is it wrong of me to not be particularly interested or motivated to meet? Is it just me that his offer seems a bit disingenuous?When it comes to family relationships, motivations are many, varied, and slippery. Sometimes we visit our folks because we feel guilty, endure birthday parties out of obligation, or attend awkward Thanksgiving feasts for the sake of family unity. And sometimes, we try to renew a dormant sibling relationship because our parents ask us to.
So yes, your brother's effort to reach out may in fact be disingenuous or due to pressure from your mother, but your mutual obligation might lead to something surprising and positive.” wanted her teenage granddaughter to keep her room neater when she visited. I liked your suggestions , but I would add that this grandmother needs to make sure that the room is suitable for the teen’s visit.
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