Advice by Carolyn Hax: How does a mom explain letting kids live mostly with dad?
Funny how we’re all terribly open-minded until we’re not.Actually, I would not get into the details at all and let people mind their own business, unless these potential friendships progress to the point where it’s natural to share. At that point, you can share the detailsthe funny reactions you get from people. Because that’s more newsworthy than who stays with whom.
I did, however, deal with my mother’s confusion and her accusations that I was “giving up my son.” It hurt a lot, and these feelings of guilt and shame carried over into how I felt I needed to respond to people asking me about my child. I did say things like, “We share custody,” or, “He’s with his dad during the week.” But I still felt as if I needed to follow up with “not because I’m a bad mother,” or even the extra-dumb, “Boys need their fathers.”All of this was ridiculous and not necessary.
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