'I removed him from the situation, cleaned up the mess myself & made our goodbyes. His 4-year-old brother said in a moment of sibling solidarity, 'But, Mom, Edgar has ADHD.' My reply was simple: 'Edgar’s ADHD is an explanation, but it is never an excuse.''
My eight-year-old son Edgar does not always behave well. Neither do his brothers, but he has attention deficit disorder and they do not, so his behaviors and actions are under closer scrutiny than those of his siblings. Though I might initially like to stomp my foot and say, “That’s not fair,” I think it actually is. As a teacher and a parent — as a human being — I have subscribed to the notion that fair is not everyone getting the same treatment, but everyone getting what they need.
Once medication was introduced, Edgar suddenly, and for the first time, seemed to understand his behavior and the ways it affected others. He used words such as “overreaction” to explain why he threw a pencil across the dining room when he learned we were having chicken instead of pasta for dinner. He, at last, seemed to understand the purpose behind the consequences.Despite a successful medical regimen, his prescription is far from a panacea. It is wrong for Edgar and us to see it as such.
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